| Lesson One – Parenting With God In The Picture |
| Saturday, 30 May 2009 | |
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Notes for the first session are available online. Age of Opportunity – ParentingTeensLesson One – Parenting With God InThe PictureI. Introduction: The Problem WithParentingA. The problem with parenting is sin –both ours and our teen’s B. The problem with parents 1. “Whydo you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or howcan you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ whenthere is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out ofyour own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of yourbrother’s eye” (Matthew 7:3-5) 2. “It is my experience that whenparents begin to recognize, own, confess, and turn from their own wrongheart attitudes and the wrong actions that flow from them, the resultis a marked difference in their relationship to their teen and in theway they view the struggle of the teen years. When we look withconcerned eyes toward the teen years, we need to look not only at ourchildren, but also at ourselves. Parents who are humbly willing tochange, position themselves to be God’s instruments of change” (Paul David Tripp, Age of Opportunity,page 18) 3. Our teens do not create our sins; they reveal the sins that werealready there 4. Effective parenting begins with us identifying and correcting thesins that keep us from effectiveness 5. Some common sins of parents: a. Anger (harsh, unkind, critical) b. Uncharitable judgment c. Unforgiveness and bitterness d. Laziness (the “idols” of ease and comfort) e. Selfishness f. Materialism g. Pride (1) Wanting to be recognized andappreciated as a good parent by others (2) Wanting to be respected and appreciated by your teen (3) Unwillingness to admit wrong in your actions or attitudes h. Self-righteousness i. Self-pity j. Fear of man k. Disobedience (1) Failure to instruct and disciplineyour child l. Fear and unbelief (2) Spoiling your child C. The problem with teens 1. The problem with teens is twofold –they are sinners and they are immature 2. They are sinners a. All children are born with aningrained lust to defy and disobey God and His delegated authorities –the sin nature b. Even regenerate children have to deal with the problem of remaining,or indwelling, sin 3. Some common sins of children andteens D. Parenting teens is one of our greatest opportunities for growth insanctification and faith a. Rebellion b. Pride (1) Self-willed (2) Self-absorbed (3) Demanding (4) Sullen (showing irritation by a gloomy silence or reserve; moody) c. Disrespectful 4. Teens can also be immature and foolish and need to be instructed sothey can gain wisdom d. Stubbornness (an expression of pride) e. Selfishness f. Anger g. Envy h. Laziness/idleness i. Dishonesty (lies and deception) j. Complaining 5. It is important that we distinguish sinfulness and childishness 6. Persistent foolishness is viewed as an “evil” thing by the Lord (Mark 7:22-23) E. “These are years of penetrating questions, the years of wonderfuldiscussions never before possible. These are the years of failure andstruggle that put the teen’s true heart on the table. These are yearsof daily ministry and of great opportunity.” (Paul David Tripp, Age of Opportunity,page 19) F. Two relevant Scriptures 1. Deuteronomy 6:1-9 a. These are God’s instructions toensure that Israel remains faithful in future generations 2. Ephesians 6:4 – “Fathers, do notprovoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline andinstruction of the Lord” b. As members of God’s covenant people, we can derive principles forparenting our teens II. Parent With God In The Picture (Deut 6:2, 4-9; Eph 6:4) A. Keeping “God in the picture”cultivates a fear of God 1. Our parenting is simply one part ofGod’s greater plan to redeem people for His glory B. Keeping “God in the picture” inspires faith 2. We do not parent to look good in the eyes of others or to producegood, moral citizens 3. We will give an account to God for the souls of our children – weare responsible to God to faithfully steward the lives of our childrenthat have been entrusted to us 1. Apart from God, parenting becomesmere techniques and rules C. Keeping “God in the picture” produces peace 2. God has called us to the task of raising our children, and He willsupply the grace we need 3. Discouragement and weariness come quickly when we doubt God is atwork 4. “It is faith that enlivens our work with perpetual cheerfulness. Itcommits every part of it to God, in the hope, that even mistakes shallbe overruled for His glory; and thus relieves us from an oppressiveanxiety, often attendant upon a deep sense of our responsibility. Theshortest way to peace will be found in casting ourselves upon God fordaily pardon for deficiencies and supplies of grace, without lookingtoo eagerly for present fruit.” (Charles Bridges, The ChristianMinistry, page 178) 1. Being an “instrument in theRedeemer’s hands” is not the same as being the Holy Spirit – there is aHoly Spirit, and we are not Him D. Keeping “God in the picture” motivates prayer 2. Our job is not to keep our children from sinning, but to teach themhow to deal with their sin in light of what Jesus Christ has done 3. We cannot affect true change in their hearts; God does that 4. Our children are ultimately accountable to God, not us a. Therefore, we do not have to bepersonally offended by their sin b. We can show compassion rather than anger 1. Our inability to produce true heartchange in our children should lead us frequently to the throne of grace(Heb 4:15-16) 2. We pray that our children would come to a saving relationship withGod through Jesus Christ and bear fruit for His glory (Col 1:9-14) III. Questions for Reflection and Application A. Which is more prevalent in myparenting: the fear of man or the fear of God? B. Where do I lack faith for my role as a parent? C. What steps can I take to make sure that God is “in the picture” inmy parenting? |
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